It’s not uncommon to hear a dude complain that girls always go for “assholes,” and the nice guys never get a chance. I’m here to put that stupid idea to rest.
Because I can tell you with near-certainty that most girls do not like “assholes.” Not usually even “bad boys.” Most girls DO like nice guys. Most girls like being with boys who say nice things to them and have things in common with them and like to do fun things together. If a girl ends up with an “asshole” or “bad boy,” it’s either because a) she’s a shallow bitch who you probably don’t want anything to do with anyway; or b) he tricked her into thinking he was a nice guy by acting like one during the courting process.
See, the fact is, most girls also like being with boys who touch their boobs, et al. And unfortunately, most “nice guys” aren’t well-known for making their feelings known and putting the moves on a girl. Nice guys take note: If you want a girl to be with you, she has to know you intend to bone her.
Now, there’s of course a right and wrong way to do this. First you flirt, establish connection, make sure she likes you back. If a girl doesn’t like you back, then she’s going to be creeped out when you get to the part about your penis intentions. If she likes you back, then you’re golden. If she likes you back, she’s going to damn well expect that some naked hugging is on the horizon. (Some signs a girl may like you: She says “I like you”; she kisses you; she puts your hand on her boob; she puts her hand in your pants.)
I like talking and getting to know somebody as much as the next person, but what I don’t like is when there’s a really nice boy who I want to get sexy with and he can’t seem to get past the part where we tell each other how much we love our cats. We can ruminate on the adorableness of Mr. Flufflebuttons later, but right now it’s time to give our private parts a word in edgewise. What I’m saying is, let’s just get to the part where we bang.
Love Me Sexy – Jackie Moon
“Let’s get real sweaty/ I’m talkin’ rain forest sweaty/ I’m talkin’ swamp sweaty/ Let’s fill the bathtub full of sweat.”
Harder You Get – Scissor Sisters
“Don’t point that thing at me/ unless you plan to shoot.”
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