25 good songs from 2013, by the guy who didn’t have a post in 2013

Hey, just because I don’t really write about music anymore doesn’t mean I don’t still have opinions on music. See, here’s, like, 25 whole opinions. Plus I put them all in a handy-dandy Spotify playlist that is in no particular order. Now, in actually somewhat of a particular order, here’s 25 really good songs I heard in 2013, which was a year, but is no longer this year.

Ha Ha Tonka – Lessons

Ha Ha Tonka is such a great and underrated band, and they played perhaps the best show I saw all year at Seattle’s Tractor Tavern in October. “Lessons” grooves a hell of a lot more than you would expect from an alt-country band, and it’s catchy as hell.

Queens of the Stone Age – If I Had a Tail

Oh yeah, my favorite band released an album this year and it was the best album of the year and “If I Had a Tail” is a fantastic idea for a song so there you go.

Neko Case – Night Still Comes

In my opinion this was Neko’s strongest album yet vocally, and the chorus (aided by a who’s who of harmony singers, most recognizably Jim James) of “You never held it at the right angle” just gets right into my feel places.

ManSquatch’s Top 20 albums of 2012 (AND THEN SOME)

1. Sharon Van Etten – Tramp

That voice, those songs, the intensity — Sharon Van Etten, this isn’t a review so much as a marriage proposal. Where did you come from? Why are you so good at everything? Can I have your number?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBldhDijhfg

2. Deep Sea Diver – History Speaks

That voice, those songs, the intensity — Jessica Dobson, this isn’t a review so much as a marriage proposal. Where did you come from? Why are you so good at everything? Can I have your number?

Oh, I said that already about SVE? WHAT ARE YOU, THE INDIE ROCK CRUSH DREAM KILLER?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alsfAS4l1FY

3. Father John Misty – Fear Fun

J. Tillman writes like a honty-tonk Beatle, sings like a Fleet Fox (because he was a Fleet Fox), and has a sense of humor that is somewhere in the middle of Nilsson and Zappa. No way I’m not loving that.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iS84BMFszW0

4. The Orwells – Remember When

Listen to the album, and then realize that these lo-fi punk-rocking fuckers are all still in high school. Something’s in the water in Chicagoland.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXrd6pnehpA

5. The Lumineers – S/T

Hey, Mumford & Sons — suck it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2yTiDlr8Mc

6. Damien Jurado – Maraqopa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyhKQKtPLl4

7. Grizzly Bear – Shields

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuG9i5cwGW0

8. Soundgarden – King Animal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iyv4le1ap8

9. Sera Cahoone – Deer Creek Canyon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YWR7ZM7xQE

10. Alabama Shakes – Boys & Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROla_B49KbQ

Band I Dislike, Song I Do Not: Foreigner, ‘Long, Long Way From Home’

Reasons I dislike Foreigner

• I’m pretty sure when the band started they were just looking to fill that “poor man’s Bad Company” void.
• Somehow Ian McDonald went from being a member of King Crimson when they did this to playing guitar on this horseshit.
• If you’re like me and grew up in a town where your radio choices were basically “the good classic rock station” and “the bad classic rock station,” you’ve heard enough fucking Foreigner in your life. See also: Boston, Journey, Boston, Styx, Boston.
• “I Want To Know What Love Is.” Get away from me.

Reasons I like “Long, Long Way From Home” 

• If the sound of a clavinet doesn’t immediately arouse you, you might be dead.
• If there’s one thing Foreigner could do, it was write a seemingly epic but mostly pointless story song with badass power chords. (I also really like “Jukebox Hero,” too, but that’s mainly for ironic reasons.)
• Mmmm. Sax-UH-ma-PHONE!
• It’s not one of the five Foreigner songs played to Goddamn death by classic rock radio. And it’s really short.

Band I Dislike, Song I Do Not: The Eagles, ‘Those Shoes’

Reasons I like “Those Shoes”

• Joe Walsh. Talk box. My ears.

Reasons I dislike The Eagles

• C’mon. They’re The Eagles. They fucking suck.

Band I Dislike, Song I Do Not: U2, ‘Bullet the Blue Sky’

Reasons I dislike U2

• Bono isn’t a good vocalist.
• The Edge’s revolutionary guitar style usually involves playing through three separate delay pedals and going “Hey guys, doesn’t that sound WEIRD?”
• They haven’t made a legitimately good record since the late ’80s yet the press keeps S-ing their D’s.
• Did I mention their names are Bono and The Edge? You’re musicians, not damn comic book characters.
• The sunglasses, the leather jackets, the beanies. Make up your minds — are you hot or cold? Guess what, it doesn’t matter, you’re probably indoors. Douchebags.

Reasons I like “Bullet the Blue Sky”

• Driving bass line, which is basically what the whole song is built around. Lead bass FTW. ALWAYS.
• Nice, somewhat understated slide guitar. Touché, Edge. (You’re still bald. Not fooling anybody with those hats.)
• The “rattle and hum” lyric, which made for one of the best concert video titles of all-time.
• That whole “arms of America” ending reminds me of the ending of this song (and that song just happens to be the song that made me pick up a guitar, so… there).

Band I Dislike, Song I Do Not: Def Leppard – Rock of Ages

Reasons I dislike Def Leppard

• “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” Everybody is dumber for having heard that song. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls.
• I’d rather have to hear the sessions of that one-armed drummer relearning how to play than Joe Elliott yelp his way through “Photograph.”
• Def Leppard was like the biggest thing in the world in the mid-’80s, so obviously they’re terrible.
• The spelling. If it wasn’t for their dumb British asses we wouldn’t have had to endure through stupidly-spelled acts like Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, or Jackyl with a Y.

Reasons I like “Rock of Ages”

• “Unta gleeben glouten globen.” So stupid…LY AWESOME!
• They stole the riff from Led Zeppelin’s atrocious “In the Evening” (0:57 mark), but they’re not the greatest rock band of all time so it isn’t a huge letdown.
• That chorus? Pretty bitchin’.
• Secretly I’m a big dumb dipshit who likes sports, a nice slab of steak, and shout-singing “I WANT ROCK-A-ROLL!” That’s right, I’m a man. Deal with it.