Reasons I dislike Def Leppard
- “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” Everybody is dumber for having heard that song. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls.
- I’d rather have to hear the sessions of that one-armed drummer relearning how to play than Joe Elliott yelp his way through “Photograph.”
- Def Leppard was like the biggest thing in the world in the mid-’80s, so obviously they’re terrible.
- The spelling. If it wasn’t for their dumb British asses we wouldn’t have had to endure through stupidly-spelled acts like Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, or Jackyl with a Y.
Reasons I like “Rock of Ages”
- “Unta gleeben glouten globen.” So stupid…LY AWESOME!
- They stole the riff from Led Zeppelin’s atrocious “In the Evening” (0:57 mark), but they’re not the greatest rock band of all time so it isn’t a huge letdown.
- That chorus? Pretty bitchin’.
- Secretly I’m a big dumb dipshit who likes sports, a nice slab of steak, and shout-singing “I WANT ROCK-A-ROLL!” That’s right, I’m a man. Deal with it.